Random thoughts of a day...

Where does one start when starting a new Diary?

I have so much I want to write about yet, the longer it takes me to get the page formatted the less I want to write! Useless drivel I guess will be today's thoughts!

I'm not going to date my diary, because, why? Does it matter, will this go down in history as a documented fact that I actually made it? lol I guess not. If I said what I really really REALLY thought, it would stay and leave my digital footprint for eons to come! Then if I don't, who knows, it might be gone tomorrow! After all it did just stop during a save! My home page did not change, it stayed the same!

Today, sometime in May.. 2017

Still looking new as ever huh!? I normally would have chosen a black truck, but ah, the crimson was just awesome. Today was Mothers Day, and I wish I could show her... well, not just the truck, but a lot of things. So much has happened since you left mom. I did get the house, but it's really been a struggle over the years.

I did all the things I promised I would do. Maybe not perfect, but like you used to tell me, nobody is perfect. All I had to go on was our talk the night before your surgery. I think out of all our talks, that one was the most important in my life. My entire life. Thank you for not listening to everyone else, and telling me anyway. If you'd listened to them, we wouldn't of had that talk.

I wish I could ask you questions. Addie Mae was a Godsend after dad came to be with you. She called me at least 3 times a week to check on me. I wish I could call her too today and wish her a Happy Mothers Day. She was such a good mom. I'm really sad for the things that happened to both of you over your lives. I promised you both I'd take those things to my own grave, and I will. She passed away just a few years after dad. Uncle Louie left to be with you all a couple of years before Dad left. Dad's dementia was already so bad, he didn't remember any of our names, so when I got the call from Addie Mae, we talked it over and decided it was probably best to tell him (if he ever asked) that he was doing fine. We didn't want his condition to decline faster. He only asked once, maybe twice, it's been awhile. We didn't want to tell him about the other one that left this mean ol' earth. Since a certain someone came and told everything to him, we didn't really have a choice. He was really torn and hurt, so I'm sure he had to get it out. I was "invited" (insert eye roll right.. as if things changed after the way I was treated at your wake.)
No sense in apologizing for that, I talked with the preacher after since as you know, I was last. You know who wedged between me and dad, and I had to be last. The seats weren't even arranged for her to be there, but she wouldn't leave. I should have sat on her lap. She wouldn't get away from Dad. He was so torn. Why do people do that, wedge themselves in where they aren't wanted?
Here's a heavenly giggle for you, maybe it's not nice, but you know me, I don't care. I sure seen exactly why you never liked her. The day you walked out of her house, was the epitome of all walking out! And yes, I told "you know who" what was said! She told me she was mean to her as a kid. All so true.
I know you'd tell me that our last moment and the rain drop was the important thing, to focus on that. So I try too. Some days are easier than others.
Your sister is doing good. She needs better care. I was/am hated for doing as you asked, and standing by dad. I don't care. Those same people both of you warned me about did exactly as you said they would do. But she'll be with you at some point. You know that. Her son is one amazing man. Funny, sweet, loving as always. We speak on occasion. People try to keep us apart, but you know how it is. He was dumped on, but makes the best of his life. People try to part us, but we're forever cousins! Your sister would be proud of him & well, you know the ones she needed, of course they did the opposite of what they said they'd do. I seen them for what and who they are. Miss & love you. I'll write dad when it's the day for all good daddies! <3